Greetings, pfaithful jabbers! We at the Ministry of Truthiness are sure you’ll be excited to know about our new boosters – oops, we mean updates – of the Glorious Goo. They’re two Goos in one: one for the original Worst Disease Ever, and one for the Omigod scariant of the Worst Disease Ever. OK, sure, the original WDE isn’t around any more, and the Omigod WDE isn’t actually very scary. But that doesn’t matter. We want to make sure that you continue to be obedient, and injecting yourself with the updated Goo is the best way you can signal your obedience.
But how about safety? OK, sure, the previous Glorious Goos were actually harmful, but you can ignore all that pesky safety data because, as we’ve said a million times before, the Goo is safe. Besides, we tested the new Goo on eight a dozen mice, and they didn’t keel over right away. And mice are kinda like humans, right? So we didn’t bother testing the New and Improved Goo on humans.
But how about efficacy? OK, sure, the previous Glorious Goos didn’t stop transmission or infection, so everybody and their uncle (including our Fearless Leader Brandon and Saint Anthony Fauci) got the Worst Disease Ever, despite having gotten four doses of the Goo. But it would have been much worse without the Goo! So as we’ve said ad infinitum, the Goo is not only safe, but it’s effective too.
So Trust the Science™ and be sure to inject the new Double-Good Goo ASAP. After all, you don’t want to be thought of as some kind of extremist granny-killer, do you?